Monday, July 27, 2009

LOVING THOUGHTS

I saw her on my very first working day when I returned home for good from JP. She was an ordinary attractive girl to me. I admit I was attracted to her the moment I saw her BUT I never had the slightest thought that I will be bringing myself closer to her.

She is TOO young.

I thought she was in the 23 or 25 range. To my disappointment, I later learned that she is just 20. Exactly 9 years and 9 months GAP.

Worst is she's an officemate!

But destiny has brought us closer to each other. Everytime we were together, in a group or just the two of us, I feel comfortable with her with no pretensions.

We laugh at same jokes.
We joke in more or less same way (not d green jokes hahaha kay hadlok ko kasab-an bleh).
We enjoyed talking and listening to each other.

She makes me laugh.
She makes me talk serious stuffs.
She is simple yet complex in some ways but very much practical in her actions.
She is funny, murag clown. :P!
She can be maarte but payter gihapon kung pinobrehay na.. mas macho pa nako..
bleh..

We instantly connected.
I later realized that I cared too much for her, that I am always thinking of her, that I wanted to be with her.

Perhaps I love her then.

"When destiny really wants to accomplish something, it can't do it alone. You still have have to go to that restaurant. You still have to show up. You still have to build a bridge to the one you love."
- My Sassy Girl movie

I finally decided that this is IT (murag DevCon!). She had doubts with my feelings. But this time, I already prepared Ring of Health and Void Stone, and even Phase Boots for increased speed haha. I persevered.

She does not like comments such as "I am a good choice because I am stable (an SV! duh!) and can support her financially (ka-pobre tawn nako woi!)".

I am a shy type (hehe!) so I don't want to be the topic in any talks -- she's too young for me.. or i go home early or panagsa na lang magwork on weekends because of her (duh work is work from 9am to 6pm and OTY).. or i am corrupting a minor... or whatever..

With these and all the other reasons, we prefer to be together in private.
D man jud public akong lablayp sauna pa! Hehe.

There are no good choices. There are no reasons. This is just how we feel. We love each other more than anyone can imagine us to be.

And I thank you Tart for that love.

And so we've decided to keep our relationship in private. As we have always said to each other, as long as we're both happy, we don't have to announce it. Perhaps we'll just have to make it known later... or never.







Happy 1st monthsary Tart.
I love you always.

I can still remember the night when we had dinner. I traced the words "I love you" on your back and asked you to tell those words to me (sugta na tawn ko woi!)... BUT you wouldn't. Instead, you traced the words "I hate you" on my arms. Right there, I knew you wanted to say "I hate you for making me fall for you."

Assuming kaau ko nuuuuu? Hehehe Jowk lang. Bleh.

Love you always Tart.
Thank you for letting me build a bridge to you right back then when you don't know me much and doubted my feelings.

P.S.
Panagsa ra ko naga-blog. Para imo jud ni. Labyuu.










Bleh!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

thinking makes me weak

as i entered the room, i can see the people in costumes. they look good. i looked back and i can see the colorful power rangers behind me. they look even better. but the room is filled with people mostly dressed in black. and the dim yellow light provides nothing but support to the black color that already prevails.

i am sitted with the power rangers together with A and E. i'm bored -- don't like the band, don't want to talk, and the food sucks (disclaimer: this is my personal opinion based from my personal taste). i just want to go home. demet, i have stomach pains and i just want to take a nap.

as i watched the people walk around and talk, i realize i'll just have to enjoy this one. i took my cam and started taking pictures. taking pictures makes me feel good. i forgot about boredom.
around midnight, at home...

i was using the cam settings i usually use when taking pictures during daylight. after i uploaded the pictures and scanned through the pics, it made me weak. thinking about what happened made me weaker.
another lesson learned...
again, what d!

Friday, December 01, 2006

not thinking

a blog entry for all JP photo postings, 9/2006 - 11/2006, and dedicated to everyone i've met and/or spent some time in JP.

i'm back home. 2nd night. 1 am. not sleepy.
connecting to internet was quick although it's dial-up.
i opened IE and browsed through http://gioksonly.multiply.com/.
i was viewing the pictures i posted then i remembered A's words: "This is so going into my blog."

suddenly, i opened notepad and my fingers started to type.
i remember the weekends, the 8-hrs-only work (although the work has its pressures too), the long but relaxing walks giving me time to think about my life (naks! serious!), the places, the foods, the cold weather that i like, and hmmmm so many...

i would not have had enjoyed these without these people. These smiles definitely made me smile in JP and even now that i'm at home.

naks! atik na kaau!
the moment was quick. but this time, i am not thinking. i am remembering them. what's the difference anyway?

what d!

Friday, November 10, 2006

singing my thoughts

it was confirmed last week that my stay has been extended by two more weeks. it doesn't matter anyway. two weeks is just a short time and i don't mind to wait a little more.
i usually realize important parts of my life when it's far from my reach. when what's important to me is always there, i usually neglect it. but perhaps it's a good thing to be away sometimes, so that i may realize things that i should give my attention to and value when i get back.

perhaps being far helps me understand things better and become a new person when i go back home...

"Home" by Michael Buble

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Babe I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home'
Cause I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
That this is not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

by the way, i sing only in my head. nyahaha!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

nothing to do, nothing to think

it's 5:15 in the afternoon and i have nothing to do. i am already done with my work for today and it's still one hour from now before i can go home. i decided to create my own multiply account at http://giokinglyyours.multiply.com/ so that i will have a place to post my pics -- old and new. as always, i don't know what template to choose. i like the site to be simple and uncolorful yet neat and comfortable. it is still under construction.
with nothing to do, i am thinking of writing my past experiences in this blog. perhaps recalling some good times and posting it here would bring back happy memories of friends and acquaintances. but not too detailed coz i'm kinda shy and i'm a very private person. nyahaha!

maybe i'll write soon...
maybe when i'm bored again...
because right now, my creative right brain is not creative.

Monday, August 01, 2005

useless thoughts from far away

i am currently away from myself
in another realm
not in reality
in a dimensionless dimension where dimensions are irrelevant and unreal
where becoming real is not relevant in a dimension not in our realm

i am currently away
yet i feel so near
now i know
being close is not the same as being near

useless thoughts... what d!

hehehe

Monday, July 25, 2005

(私と日本) いっしょにハロハロを食べませんか?

私は成田と大阪空港に行ったことがあります。でも、日本の空港の外に行ったことがありません。もし機会があれば、私は冬のときに日本へ行きたいです。

乾季と雨季、フィリピンではその二つの季節だけがあります。フィリピンで冬がありませんから、日本で冬を経験したいです。雪が降っているときに、私は外へ行って、大きい雪だるまを作りたいです。そのあと、私と雪だるまの写真を撮ってもらいます。そして、私が空腹になれば、ハロハロを作って、雪を使って、 ハロハロを混ぜます。雪が降っているときに、そのハロハロを食べたら、とてもおいしいと思います。おなかがいっぱいまでハロハロを食べます。


フィリピンでハロハロをたべるとき、その日本の経験を思い出すでしょう。あなたも私といっしょにハロハロを食べませんか?


This is my 1-minute speech in Nihongo Level 3 class with 'Me and Japan' as the subject.